Hehehee ^^

This blog has been very serious for a very many posts now. It needed something to lighten the mood.

The good news are, I'm finding my creativity again.

The doubtfully good news are, I'm spending half of it on drawing pron kittehs ^^ There might be more later.

The other half is spent on writing something I can't tell you about. God how I love torturing people by telling them stuff like this. It will so backfire, but wow is it worth it. ^^

I cheated out of doing some of the background to be able to post it tonight. It might get proper background sometime... maybe... ;)

Random link link link link-chain results:

Nåtgot så ovanligt som en bloggning på svenska. Anledningen är helt enkelt att jag i ett svagt ögonblick blev intresserad av svensk inrikespolitik, eller snarare, jag snubblade på en blogg från en polisman i Storbrittannien och blev nyfiken om det finns sådana i Sverige.

Polis i Sverige är intressant. Polisen ska man vara kompisar och bundis med, de ska vara perfekta och ofelaktiga människor, de ska stå ut med precis vad som helst som görs mot dom både fysiskt och i media, de ska inte ha ett vettigt system att arbeta efter utan hålla på med byråkrati och göra socialtjänstens jobb, och egentligen, slutligen, är det inte pinsamt att ett så modernt, jämnställt land som rättsstaten sverige ska behöva en poliskår? Poliser håller ju på med våld och smuts i första person, i en tid då militären helst ska sitta i bunkrar och trycka på knappar, så det är ju lite fult.

Jag hittar ingen blog för svensk polis, vare sig officiell eller av enskilda poliser. Länka mig gärna om ni hittar nån. Däremot hittar jag massor av klagande och smutskastande. "Snuten" handlar det om, om hur de gör fel, alltid, mot alla. Jag hittar chockerande lite material från polisen där de faktiskt uttalar sig om anklagelser. Allt oftast möts all kritik med stenhård, vacuumvit tystnad. Jag undrar lite över det. Om det är bättre eller sämre. För obviously skulle samma människor som klagar på dom klaga ännu mer över svaren, men ger inte repliker mer trovärdighet? Men naturligtvis kan de ofta inte svara för att det skulle bryta tystnadsplikt om saker i fallen.

Folk klagar på domstolar och högre instanser också, naturligtvis. Länk-kedjan tog mig till Inte Utan Mina Söner, där jag hittade ännu en punkt där den lilla klockan som plingat bak i huvudet när man lyssnat på genusforskning och feminism har en vettig poäng. Jämlikhet ska vara balans, rättvisa. Inte att upphöja de som var förtryckta till förtryckare. Men på många platser slår det precis så fel, och det är männen som hamnar i kläm istället. Speciellt i traditionella "kvinnofrågor", som med barn.

Hur som helst, polisen var mitt huvudämne här. Det är ett ämne som igen och igen får mig att vilja rulla ihop media till en liten boll, tugga den i småbitar, låta den bytas ner lite i magsyra och spy upp den igen, bara för eget nöje. Men. Ja. Nu ska jag sluta.

Less than 3

Uppgift 8.42 Vilka ord i samma fil har högst åtta
bokstäver och har två dubbeltecknade bokstäver i
rad, så som t. ex. »rättssal«.

8.42 egrep "^.{0,2}([[:alpha:]])\1([[:alpha:]])\2.{0,2}$|^([[:alpha:]])\1([[:alpha:]]).{0,4}\2$|^.{0,4}([[:alpha:]])\1([[:alpha:]])\2$|^.{0,1}([[:alpha:]])\1([[:alpha:]])\2.{0,3}$|^.{0,3}([[:alpha:]])\1([[:alpha:]])\2.{0,1}$" /local/dict/dsso-list.txt

Uppgift 8.43 Använd sed för att lösa om uppgiften
med att vända ordningen på us-states.txt från
överst på s. 70.

8.43 sed -r "s/([0-9]{4}-[0-9]{2}-[0-9]{2})([[:blank:]])([[:alpha:]]+.*)/\3\2\1/g" us-states.txt | sort

Uppgift 8.44 Tänk dig att en text har använt deci-
malpunkt istället för decimalkomma, dvs. där står
t. ex. »3.14« istället för »3,14«, men det ska ändras
till decimalkomma. Skriv ett sed-kommando som
byter ut sådana punkter som står mellan två siffror
till komman (men inte byter ut andra punkter!).

8.44 sed -r "s/([[:digit:]]+)(\.)([[:digit:]]+)/\1,\3/g"


Victory is mine! Mine mine mine mine!

It's also 19.30 and this took me like 3 hours... buuut...

^_________________________^

I have a gnawing feeling there is an easier way to do 8.42, cuz it's really ugly, and I really hope all of this is right... buuut....

I have concluded that I really like regular expressions. They are ultimate logic.

PS: sorry this totally invaded on the attention for your birthday cake, nallenon! I am a terrible friend!

A First Pling From The Red Submarine

I'm a afraid of a lot of things, but essentially they boil down to:

• things that inflict pysical pain, especially those that may accidentally or unexpectedly do so
• inflicting pain in all forms on other people (and to some small extent animals), intentionally or otherwise
• other people
  
• myself
• and losing myself

everything else, like sharks or clowns or rapists, or poverty or war or heartbreak:

• is too foreign or unlikely, so I can't quite imagine it or find it a waste of time
  
• is silly to be afraid of so I refuse to be
• or is, after all, just what it is, just like I don't fear death because if you die, you die

and writing this list made me wonder about the differences between fear and hate. Maybe they're just the passive and active forms of the same thing, like being fed and eating. Most things I fear I also hate, but not everything I hate I fear. Is it better to hate things than to fear them? It puts you more into control, forces you to be more assertive and take action instead of hiding and avoiding. And might make you do stupid shit like hunt wolves to extinction or bomb muslims.

Fear is good because it keeps you away from shit that could hurt or kill you. Hate is good because it makes you take action against shit that could hurt or kill you. But in the end they're both outsmarted by common sense. Crap... my brain just shortciruited from the pling of the submarine radar, the 3D image of good and bad and balance and complexity and the way things can never add up because then they'd stand still... and that made no sense to you, but I'll tell you about it someday.

I hate being afraid of stuff. Oh hey... the irony of that sentence...

A Full Circle

I've been thinking for hours now about what it is I want. What do I want to do? I've never had any sort of idea. No dream, no ambition. I always had the feeling I could do good things, but not what those things were, and not that it was the most important thing of my life to do them. What is the most important thing of my life really? And what I'm studying is ok, but it's not like I really care about it.

Could I be an author? I think about it sometimes, but I have no idea how or where to start.

Thinking too much but getting nowhere. I wish I had ambition. Something to drive me to get across those obstacles that life and society presents, and that have this far detoured me from everything I've found mildly interesting. It's never been interesting enough to seem worth the effort.

People seem to be a key word. Things happen around people. Bars, cafés, workplaces, schools, theatres... people. I don't know where I'm going with this except that I don't really want that much to do with people, not like that. I don't know how or where to start with that either.

There's so much crap to sort through in the world, to find the little diamonds. And I've never had much patience that way. I'm very unforgiving like that. I try though. I do my best, but most of the time I run out of energy. It might not seem like much. It really isn't either. But I try, on and off.

I was thinking that you people shouldn't talk to me about what I write here. Post a comment by all means, but don't talk to me about it in real time. Because here, and not here, are two separate things. I stand by what I write here with all my heart... it's more like I don't stand by who I am out in the real world. I am the Writer here.

I think sometimes that if I just got a trash job to keep me floating, I could try this writing thing for real. But I get distracted, and I hate myself for it. I do everything but write these days. Except here, from time to time. And I don't trust myself to be able to keep a trash job. I have motivation problems. Self-control problems. Actually, I don't even trust myself to be able to get one. So there.

Anyway. Writing is what keeps me sane and alive. Would be nice to make some money off it, but, as with faith, it's good enough to just have it there to anchor me. A corner of the world where I'm safe. I wouldn't say no to making money off my faith either, really, but I really don't think there is any conceivable way to do that. Though the stress of having to make a living, do I really want to connect that to one of those safe corners? Scary.

It would be so ironic, so completely... dumb, if after all this running around, what I really want to do is what my mother told me the first time I asked her what I should do, and that I then turned down firmly. Being a journalist. Writing articles. I understand now that there are more types of journalists and writers of articles than tabloid people, but still. Although irony is only a human construct. So I guess in terms of nature and spirit it would be... a full circle.

Mine.

What if marriage (or any other action or ritual or idea that symbolises monogamy) is sort of like that mantra that people learn in the military? (Do they, for real? I'm assuming so for this discussion.)

This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

I don't know why they have it exactly, but I can imagine there are strong psychological reasons. Pretty much the same as monogamy, no? Imagine:

This is my husband/wife. There are many like him/her but this one is mine.

The thought struck me and stayed, and you know what, I kind of like it. It makes me happy. ^^

There are many like him, but this one is Mine.

Course Discussion: The Story of Stuff

This is a blog post concerning the content of this flash-video for my participation of a course in English at Karlstad University.

While I watched the video I wrote down notes to keep thoughts that flew through my head. The little note looks like this:

corporation vs government - sweden vs US
consumers
burning itself up?
how to change this?
idealistic - is it possible?

And this will be my index.

1. Corporation vs government.
The thought came up because a couple of friends talked about it. In the US, the perceived image is that the government is your friend, and the large corporations are your enemies. In Sweden, at least this is my opinion, it's the other way around. We're quick to blame the government for things, and if large corporations get critizised it's usually the government-involved ones like SJ or Posten or one bank or another. I'm not convinced either is my friend, really, more like I'm Andorra and they're France and Spain.
Does this have some connection to the fact that many large corporations try out new trends in Sweden first, because Swedes are somehow very "fashion sensitive"? Det lilla landet lagom wants to fit in everywhere, which means the propaganda about shoes and computers really hits the right spot.

2. Consumers.
The video says "our main role in society these days is to be consumers". Is our value judged not from what we produce but what we consume? Transferred to the Arts, this would mean, it doesn't matter if you paint well as long as you have good taste in paintings. And wouldn't you say that in some ways this is true? That a lot of people live according to this? "Good taste". Such bullshit, just like fashion.

3. Burning itself up.
The dude who said "let's consume our heads off because it's good for the economy" apparantly never noticed as a child in the sandbox that if you keep digging the sand away and dump it on your mom's favorite flowers, it will eventually run out, and so will the fun.

4. How to change this.
I wonder how much time and money and effort has been put down to get us where we are now? How much have the big corporations showered us in propaganda and "information"? Can we really turn it around without an opposite force of equal measure? Yes, I guess. With the right angle of application we can chance the course, and with a few smart wall-bounces we might turn it around. But the thought of it is overwhelming. Like the hobbits must have felt looking out over a sea of orcs. Or like the swedish hockey team watching russia play back in the day.

5. Idealistic.
Is it then possible to create a perfect cycle? I don't think nature does perfect cycles, it does cycles but not perfect ones. Things change, things end, things die and break and are lost. Our planet isn't a closed system, nothing is a closed system. But, at the risk of sounding cliché, I don't think that the fact that we'll never get it perfect is an excuse for not trying to make it better.

Final Reflections
It must be all the propaganda I've been force-fed, but this type of environmental/humanitarian/sensible reasoning always sound somewhat... wussy. Which is strange, considering I've grown up with the very particular dialogues of superhero comics. It takes all my strength to take it in and not brush it off as I did religion before, and tend to do feminism now.
I guess the inner cave animal screams in protest at the mere thought of having to give up 42" plasma TV so that starved orphans can have some extra rice a few times a week. And it's possibly the existance of that animal that makes all this so damned hard. If only it could realize that we should just start at recycling the boxes with microwave food in, and work from there, maybe it would see that it's not the end of the world.

The Value of a Good Story

I just finished inFamous and... wow.

Wow.

I did not see that coming.

I mean... yeah.

And... well, I suppose...

but...

Wow.